When God's Plans are Bigger than Yours

I have learned that I will never quit learning how much bigger God's plans are than my own. Unfortunately I feel as if it will be my 'constant companion' throughout the years. It is so easy to get caught up in what you want to do, your own personal interests, that you forget to consult the Ultimate Planner.

I often times pray, when a big decision needs to be made, for God to show me what to do. However, I sometimes forget that God has a plan for ALL of my life, not just parts of it. He not only cares about what I do tomorrow, but He also cares about what I do for the rest of the week. He cares about everything that involves me, and yet I treat Him as an outsider, forgetting to ask Him what His grand plans are.

I like the plans I make, sometimes. Yet I also get tired of trying to run my own life, sometimes. It seems to be a constant battle between flesh and Godly desires.
I am reminded rather often of how much I forget to include God in my planning. I was reminded yet again at church and Bible study this past Sunday.

But, right there is my problem. See, in my above sentence I said that I forget get to 'include' God, as if He is the one that needs to be included. Instead, I should be asking myself, How can I be included in HIS plans? How can I seek His counsel at every waking moment so that I know what it is HE wants of ME, instead of asking what I want from Him.

The other day I learned that lesson once again (which, maybe I should say I 'experienced' that lesson, because I obviously didn't learn it the first time if I had to be taught again!).
As some of you may know, I was really looking forward to possibly publishing my first young adult novel. It was the story I did for the month of November (NaNoWriMo) and I thought for sure, because of some different things which I won't list here, that I was going to publish it. That God wanted me too. Yet, somehow, deep inside, I knew that wasn't so. Yet I kept pushing onward, continually working on it and ignoring something I knew that I needed to be working on. I continued like this all through December, trying to deceive myself and others that I was truly getting this book published.

Thank the Lord for His goodness and Mercy, though. One night, as I was working on my book, I suddenly hit a wall. Literally. I felt as if I was bumping into an invisible bubble of sorts. I couldn't go anywhere with my book. My writing started sounding cheesy. The storyline was changing into something I didn't like. My fingers froze over the keyboard as the thought suddenly struck me full force. Stop. Just stop and listen. 

I tried to ignore it. I knew what was coming and I really didn't want to listen to this. Not right now. Yet it still urged me, the voice getting louder and stronger. I stopped. I couldn't resist any longer. It hurt too much, really. Whenever we fall out of God's will, I think it hurts. A lot. Because we know that what we might be doing is wrong. So, I did stop. I listened. I cried. I begged. I finally, with much reluctance, accepted.

I felt peace.

Sweet peace. There really is something to be said for it. It was such a stark contrast to what I had been feeling before. The turmoil was gone, only peace flooded my senses and flowed into my heart. It may sound somewhat melodramatic or something, but it is extremely true. God was clearly telling me that I wasn't supposed to publish my young adult novel. The prize of my writing. It wasn't to be done. I didn't like hearing it, but so be it.

I relinquished that book to God and basically said, "Your will be done,". I felt sad at first. Yet, even now, having been several days since that night, I have still felt such peace. I will continue on with my young reader books. I don't know how many I'll do. I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to do the next one yet. I'm still waiting. For what? I'm not really sure. Yet God has given me the peace to wait. Just wait.

It is probably one of the hardest things to do, but there ya have it. I would greatly covet your prayers that God would show me what I need to do and where I need to go.

This may seem like an odd post for a writing/author blog, but it's something very important to me, and I wanted to share because 1.) I didn't want to be deceiving all of you, and 2.) I wanted to ask for prayers.

So, there ya have it, folks. And update for y'all that I hope makes some semblance of sense. ;-)